Scene From a Mexican Restaurant

The whole thing was bizarre. It sounds crazy, yet what I felt was real.

I had just been at a school event with my child in which we were working
a candy dig booth where each child used a shovel to dig for candy through a mysterious hole in a board where they couldn't exactly see all the yummy treasures they were acquiring. As the kids were dismissed from school, we were in the lunch room with hoards of frenzied hungry kids with money to spend. It was loud and it was hot. Did I mention it was loud AND hot?

After that I had to hurriedly help clean up and my husband took both of the boys with him to a baseball lesson for the oldest. We were to all meet afterwards at the Mexican restaurant.
I arrived at the restaurant alone, not realizing I would be waiting almost a full hour before they made it there. I was seated in a booth and I ordered a cold drink to quench my thirst as I waited.

Normally, in a situation like this, I would have called my husband to see what time they were meeting me, or while sitting there all alone, I would have naturally used my phone to entertain myself, a little Facebook or Words With Friends as a distraction to pass time. Why not? I was alone and had nothing but time and no one sitting with me to talk to. But when I reached for my phone it was completely dead. I didn't even have a way of checking to see how long I would be waiting for my family. I was stuck just sitting there by myself, waiting for an unspecific time, with nothing to do to pass the time. Just me in a dim but busy restaurant with my cold drink and my thoughts.

This is when things got strange. At first I noticed all of the conversations going on around me. Not in a stalkerish eavesdropping way, but more in a happy background noise type way. My hearing seemed more keen, my breathing seemed deeper, and I began noticing all the things around me. It's like all of my senses were on high alert, but not in a loud annoying way, but in an intensely aware and relaxing way.

I began noticing all the different colors in the room. The deep colors of the lights. Their bumpy texture. I felt like I was breathing deeper than before, like my lungs were finally at full capacity.

This may sound nuts, but it felt like perhaps for the first time in my life I was meditating. Accidentally meditating, but meditating nevertheless. When do we ever sit by ourselves for an hour without something keeping us occupied? We always have a to-do list or a television or phone or book or SOMETHING. When do we EVER sit for an HOUR and do absolutely nothing?

And then it hit me. Is this what we are now missing? Is this what our electronic devices and constant need to be engaged are stealing from us? Are they stealing our ability to just be?

Yes, they are. They absolutely are. We don't know how to just be anymore. How to sit and absorb everything around us. Think about how back in the old days the men would sit on the courthouse steps and just be on a lazy summer afternoon. That doesn't happen anymore. We are slowly but surely becoming robots, mere shells of the seeing, feeling, and absorbing humans we are meant to be. Because I know one thing, if there is beauty to be found inside a busy restaurant, imagine all the other things we are missing? Are we fully absorbing all the sounds and smells and things to see around us? Or are we constantly "on call," at the mercy of every text ding and message sent with frantic pace our way.

This experience at the most unlikely of places caused me to wake up. Figuratively and literally.

I searched the bookstore, one of the best places I know to fully absorb, and I found a little treasure of a book which is exactly what I was looking for. It is Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford.

One of the first quotes in the book is by Dale Carnegie-

"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon~instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."

That Dale Carnegie was a smart guy.

I knew the book was going to be a winner, and it is. It will absolutely change your life.

I encourage everyone to read this book.

My first step is going to be making sure I am distraction free from the moment the boys get home until they go to bed. They will not remember me being distracted, they will remember my attention.

Now, does this mean that I will ignore a text before baseball changing
practice locations? Or course not. Does that mean I won't EVER take a quick picture of my child in his first baseball game of the year and quickly post it for some friends and family to share that moment? No.

But a necessary notification or a quick picture of a meaningful moment and mindless time consuming absorption are two different things.

I invite everyone to read Hands Free Mama with me. I really think it is going to be a life changer.

And please share any stories or moments you experience along the way.

Change is always more fun and easier with friends.