My Love Affair With Books

It's almost as if I hear them whispering. 

"Look inside. It will change your life."

Of course I don't really hear the books whispering, but it's how I feel when I'm inside a library or a book store.

My sense of awareness is heightened, as if something new is about to be discovered. Endless possibilities.

Not many things can excite me as much as the possibility of a thrilling book. I've pretty much been this way since I was four.

I still remember the perfume my mom wore while I was reading the Nancy Drew series. The memory is that much a part of me. To this day when I smell Estée Lauder's Private Collection, childhood happiness washes over me.

Some people don't get it. Those who don't read not only don't get it, but also think it sounds a bit strange. But those who love books know exactly what I'm talking about.

How can anyone get so much pleasure from not experiencing something, but reading about it? That's what non- readers might ask. And it's a valid question.

But I would argue that with the right imagination and the right book, you actually are experiencing it.

One of the things that has always made me nervous about life is that there simply isn't time to do all of the things I want to do. I can't bear the thought that I might never get to be a detective, or own a bookshop, or be a writer in a flat in New York, or fall in love in Italy. 

But I will get to do all of these things with a book and an imagination.

If we weren't experiencing it as if it really were happening, books wouldn't have the power to make us laugh out loud, or cry, or bite our fingernails in anticipation.

And I feel confident in saying that I know myself so much better because I read. You know that moment when you are reading and you come to *that* sentence. A sentence that resonates so deep within you that you feel a deep connection with the writer whom you don't even know. You suddenly feel implicitly understood, validated, like you are not alone and apparently have never been alone in your feelings.

I dare say books develop who you are. They slowly, over time, help you see truths about yourself and others that shape who you are and how your react to certain situations. They help you become the more authentic "you" that you were always meant to be.

One of my biggest hopes is that I pass on my love of reading to my children. Because I truly believe that is one of the best gifts that can be given.

And I don't really believe there are non-readers. There are really just undiscovered readers who haven't found the right book.

There is a reason that when I'm asked if I could have one item on a deserted island, the answer has always been and always will be a book. Because with a book I wouldn't be stranded. I would get to go everywhere.

The Boys Who Built Me

I slowly slid off my workout mat, walked cautiously over to the bug, scooped him up, and released him out of the gym door.

My workout partner looked at me and said, "You can sure tell you're a boy mom!"

Ah, it's true I suppose. I always knew, or hoped rather, that I would be a mom. But I had no idea I would be a boy mom. Or even a mom to two boys.

As Plato (who was, of course, brilliant) said, "Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable." 

If that doesn't intimidate a mom to be, I don't know what would.

And I must admit (though at the beginning I was so inexperienced and nervous) that having boys has opened my eyes to new things and has changed me in some truly wonderful and unexpected ways.

1. For one thing, I have certainly become more in tune with nature. I'm always on the lookout for cool rocks, or interesting outdoorsy things. We identify animal tracks and see how many times we can skip rocks on the water. And what on earth is sweeter than a little boy with twinkling eyes offering his mother fresh picked flowers in his chubby little dimpled hands? (Even if they really are weeds). I just chaperoned a middle school field trip to an aquarium and then on to Rock City. I had both boys and girls in my group. The girls were slowly walking, taking in everything, taking pictures of jellyfish and taking time to choose things in the gift shop. The boys were like Labrador Retriever puppies just let out of their kennels. They were running and climbing, making the scary swinging bridge swing even more. And through the walkways, were hiding in crevices and trying to scare me by jumping out like scenes from a horror movie. It's just how they roll.

2. I now realize that Sandlot is possibly one of the best movies ever made. This coming-of-age movie seriously captures tween boys in a way that no article or expert can. I live it first hand. If you ever want to be truly entertained, just sit back, watch, and listen to a group of middle school boys. There isn't much else on this earth more delightfully entertaining.

3. I never really fully knew that you could learn almost every life lesson you need from baseball, or any sport for that matter. Camaraderie, patience, perseverance, self-confidence, self-discipline, humbleness, fairness, strength, commitment. A sport is

about so much more than just the sport. I love everything sports have taught my boys AND me.

4.  I like dirt. I probably need to clarify this one. There is a certain beauty in seeing a boy, younger or older, covered in dirt. I would rather see a boy covered in dirt and grass, with dingy wet shoes, than a boy in a polo with pressed khakis any day. Damp and muddy means he jumped in that puddle, climbed that rock, dove for that ball. If he is covered in dirt, it means he LIVED that day.

5. Having boys, I also never realized how IRRITATED I would get at society's underappreciation of the mother-son bond.

"There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that 

transcends all other affections of the heart." ~ Washington Irving

Yet...

Father-son fishing tournaments? Yep. Father-son camping trips? Sure! There are tons of those! Mother-daughter luncheons? Why yes!!! Father-daughter dances? Of course! Where in the fresh heck are the events for mothers and sons?? ...crickets...

As Steve Rushin said, "Moms are as relentless as the tides. They don't just drive us to practice, they drive us to greatness."

So where is the celebration of this, people? There has GOT to be more celebration than just waiting for that three-minute mother/son dance at the wedding.

It is my absolute mission before too long to throw together some sort of charity mother/son baseball tournament. Get your gloves ready mamas. Enough is enough.

6. I suddenly get why Chandler (on Friends) laughed every time someone said "duty." They never grow out of it. Never. Ever.

7. I never knew that someone 100 pounds or less could consume this much food without rupturing his intestines. It seems to defy all scientific laws. The way to their hearts is through their stomachs. It's true. So be sure you have some good recipes that they love so when your son marries that little hussy in California who won't move he will still want to come back for your spaghetti sauce. They really do eat more than the human brain can comprehend. And I have learned that if you even think you might want a Sister Schubert Roll, you had better grab it, FAST. Because boys eat bread like they haven't eaten for weeks in the Mojave Desert and have just been awarded the feast on Survivor. 

8. I allow things in my house that I never would have imagined. I believe at one point there was going to be no throwing balls in the house. That was my original intent anyway. It's all fuzzy now. I have now been known to allow American Ninja Warrior stunts in my hallway. And I once actually heard myself yelling in Target, "Stop throwing the football!!! But that was a really nice pass."

9. I never realized how sacred the drives to and from games or Wednesday night church would be. Some of our deepest, most meaningful conversations have been in the car with just the two of us. Just driving after dark with the radio turned low. 

Sacred.

Come to find out, boys open up about things much easier when they don't have you staring right at them.

Who knew?

10. Life with boys is full throttle. Sort of like a permanent adrenaline rush. A roller coaster every day. They have more energy than their bodies can contain. They need to take risks, to be challenged, to explore, to compete. I never realized how wild and untamed the spirit of the boy is. And what I never would have realized before, is that I would never want to tame them. They are just the way God intended. And I am so, so lucky to be a part of their magical, wild world.

Thank you, God.