All Systems Overloaded

Lately, I've been suffering from the too-muchness of things.

There have been too many choices, too much information, too much responsibility, too much knowledge, too much debate, and too much anger out there floating around.

Sometimes, I simply do not want to know all of the lesser known, obscure symptoms of a stroke, or how all of my dinner plates are killing me, or how toxic the shrimp from Thailand is, or that my granite countertops are emitting poisonous gas that may be slowly, over time, killing me in my sleep, or that my cell phone is giving me a tumor, or that I can either have a weed-free yard or risk leukemia. (So far I'm winning this battle with my husband, but our yard is beginning to get embarrassing, and I'm not sure I will look convincing this summer with my little squirt bottle of vinegar. He already said we are NOT ripping out our countertops.)

I have always been a worrier. Lots of us are. And one year in my twenties when I found myself under a lot of stress, I became quite the hypochondriac for a while. I even convinced myself that I had some rare disease. I literally worried about it so much that I began actually having symptoms. I convinced my mom to call a medical hotline and was astounded to discover not only was it rare, but apparently found in Jewish men over 40.

My bad.

And by the way, I wonder how many people Google Internet searching has killed? THAT'S the statistic we need to be hearing about!

And my heart truly does go out to every single person whose sad story is posted on social media, but I find myself reading the status of someone who has suffered a horrible catastrophe, someone I didn't even know existed until 12:30 am when I probably should be in REM stage sleep or at least not have myself worked up into a nervous wreck.

I realize some of us walk around out there in this world a bit more peeled. I say peeled because the word "sensitive" sounds weak. And people who are peeled are ANYTHING but weak. We may be exhausted from taking on the world's problems, but we are strong and scrappy. Think about those little clementines they call "Cuties." Some of us out there don't have a peel. We are a bit more sensitive to words, suggestions, stressors. And it. Can. Be. Exhausting.

Here is an example. When I was a kid, one of my favorite things was going to my great-aunt and uncle's in Virginia every Christmas. It was always perfect.

But one year I was a basket case. Apparently they were expecting a piece of a satellite to crash to the earth. I'm sure no one else worried about this with the astronomical odds in favor of it not ending in catastrophe. It would more than likely land in an ocean or a field somewhere.

But not me. No sir. With every fiber of my being, I knew that sucker was going to come crashing through that roof in Winchester, Virginia, and totally take me out. And possibly before I could even see what Santa brought.

It would have been nice if I hadn't read about it in the paper, but that's just life sometimes.

But now, NOW, that we live in the information age, we get to read and hear about 20 things a DAY that could kill us, negatively impact us, or make us miserable. We get to hear about how all the things we are doing are wrong, and also hear about the things we should be doing. We don't even have to seek these things out. They find us. We could be typing an email and BAM!!! "Have you bought this type of wood in the past five years, blah, blah, blah?" "

I still have to cover my ears and run from the room when an ASPCA commercial comes on.

Last night my youngest had apparently seen something on the news where a woman ran down a police officer in her car. He looked at me and said, "I thought people were nice?"

Ouch.

Now, it would be hypocritical of me not to say that I used to be a part of the lovely media. I was a newspaper reporter. And I LOVED it. I got my college degree to go into law enforcement, so I like to think that as a reporter, I had a bit of a different perspective. You were never going to find me asking offensive, rude, and insensitive questions, and I didn't. But I digress. I just didn't want to seem hypocritical as I point out how much all of this CONSTANT information can't be good.

I do totally believe it's our right to know what is going on in the world around us. But I also think that being informed and being bombarded are two very different things. Lately things are just too much. Way too much.

And the guilt floating around out there!!! Yes, I DO love Jesus, and I support domestic abuse victims, and I think recycling is good, but no I am NOT going to make that my profile picture for an hour, because that is just ONE. MORE. THING. And then if I do it once, then I have to do it for all of them because if I don't then it seems like I support everything BUT that. IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE.

And NOOOOOO!!!!!!! I will NEVER play Candy Crush!

And NO, I will NOT just answer a few questions in your phone survey because apparently I can't even manage to find time to do squats every day so I can fit into my old jeans.

And then? The sink holes.

For the love...

I just don't know.